Equipping yourself with verbal self-defense techniques prevents you from taking any more verbal abuse from your boss, your partner or that rude driver.
However, I don't mean stooping down to the same level as your aggressor. You are not on the offense here, but the defense. Read on to find out how these communication tactics work.
Verbal Self-Defense Technique #1: Silence Can Be Deafening.
Sometimes, the best counter is to not respond at all. This is a lot different from just standing there and taking whatever creative insult the local bully has come up with. The kind of silence I am suggesting is one brought about by careful observation and proper detachment.
Remove yourself from the situation, so your feelings won't have to take a pounding. Observe the person who is dishing out all those curse words.
Why is he so agitated? What prompted this whole thing in the first place? Figure out where all the anger is coming from and try to be as helpful as you can.
Verbal Self-Defense Technique #2: Politeness Can Be Disarming.
This tactic is quite surprising for your attacker. When someone abuses you verbally, they expect you to fight back. When someone calls you names, it is quite difficult not to hurl the same sort of words back to the perpetrator.
Unfortunately, doing so leads you directly into their trap. Now you're also hot headed and affected. You've lost your cool and your enemy has gained the attention they so seek.
If you remain polite, however, he will be surprised and caught off guard. Tell the other person how rude he is being, but do it politely. After all, he might not have manners, but you do.
Verbal Self-Defense Technique #3: Positive Words Always Make The Cut.
It's a good idea to remain positive all the time, and that includes using positive words. Don't say, "You can't do that" or "You can't say that." Instead, say, "Let's try to sort this out" or "What can I do to help you?"
By focusing on the positive, you are already changing the mood of the entire conversation.
Verbal self-defense techniques are helpful in keeping you cool, calm and collected. And once the abuser finds out that you can't be fazed, they'll soon find themselves a new target; or at least, have the decency to be embarrassed by their immaturity.
Either way, you will be able to get out of the situation. Let them lead their lives while you lead yours - verbal abuse free.
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